Almost Losing Someone You Love...
I've been relatively lucky so far in my life. I'm almost 30 and have never had to experience the death of someone that I love. I have had distant relatives, a grandfather I didnt really know and classmates die around me but no one that I have been truly close to (which is very few people). So I don't know what losing someone you love feels like but I do know what almost losing someone you love feels like and I know that losing them cannot even be explained in words.
My dad had heart surgery yesterday after having a heart attack. No one in my family informed me of this until the surgery actually started. I was upset with my Mom for not telling me that my Dad was sick. I was upset with both of them for not thinking it was a big deal but it was a big deal to me. All I could think was what if something had gone wrong in surgery?
As soon as the hubs got home from work, we got our boys ready and rushed to the hospital an hour and a half away. I was in tears when I saw my Dad but again they (my mom & dad) didn't think it was that big of deal or if they did they didn't show it, and everyone was wondering why I was upset. How could I not be upset? How could I not be in tears? I have tears forming as I write this and I'm an emotional mess even though I know dad is ok now. I'm not sure if I am crying because I feel so disconnected from my parents or because my Dad could have died. Well, actually, I know it's both. I can't imagine losing him right now because I actually feel like I just got him back. He is NOW the Dad that I have always wanted and needed and I'm his little girl.
>Go to the Mom blog Homepage
I've been relatively lucky so far in my life. I'm almost 30 and have never had to experience the death of someone that I love. I have had distant relatives, a grandfather I didnt really know and classmates die around me but no one that I have been truly close to (which is very few people). So I don't know what losing someone you love feels like but I do know what almost losing someone you love feels like and I know that losing them cannot even be explained in words.
My dad had heart surgery yesterday after having a heart attack. No one in my family informed me of this until the surgery actually started. I was upset with my Mom for not telling me that my Dad was sick. I was upset with both of them for not thinking it was a big deal but it was a big deal to me. All I could think was what if something had gone wrong in surgery?
As soon as the hubs got home from work, we got our boys ready and rushed to the hospital an hour and a half away. I was in tears when I saw my Dad but again they (my mom & dad) didn't think it was that big of deal or if they did they didn't show it, and everyone was wondering why I was upset. How could I not be upset? How could I not be in tears? I have tears forming as I write this and I'm an emotional mess even though I know dad is ok now. I'm not sure if I am crying because I feel so disconnected from my parents or because my Dad could have died. Well, actually, I know it's both. I can't imagine losing him right now because I actually feel like I just got him back. He is NOW the Dad that I have always wanted and needed and I'm his little girl. >Go to the Mom blog Homepage
My dad had heart surgery yesterday after having a heart attack. No one in my family informed me of this until the surgery actually started. I was upset with my Mom for not telling me that my Dad was sick. I was upset with both of them for not thinking it was a big deal but it was a big deal to me. All I could think was what if something had gone wrong in surgery?
As soon as the hubs got home from work, we got our boys ready and rushed to the hospital an hour and a half away. I was in tears when I saw my Dad but again they (my mom & dad) didn't think it was that big of deal or if they did they didn't show it, and everyone was wondering why I was upset. How could I not be upset? How could I not be in tears? I have tears forming as I write this and I'm an emotional mess even though I know dad is ok now. I'm not sure if I am crying because I feel so disconnected from my parents or because my Dad could have died. Well, actually, I know it's both. I can't imagine losing him right now because I actually feel like I just got him back. He is NOW the Dad that I have always wanted and needed and I'm his little girl. >Go to the Mom blog Homepage
11 Comments:
Awww. I am sorry that happened. HUGS. I would be pretty upset if my parents did something like that to me. I have never lost anyone THAT close to me- but close enough. I don't know what I would do when someone i truly care about dies.
I'm so sorry that they didn't tell you and yeah, I think that is a big deal also. Maybe you guys can enjoy many years ahead of what you have always wanted. I lost both of my grandparents within 6 months of each other and it was very hard. I'm here if you need to talk. I can't get on yahoo because of the computer but you can always call.
Hang in there. My best to your dad for a speedy recovery.
Awww! I would have been mad too. My mom spent the night in the hospital because she had a bad fall off of her bike and didn't even tell me until a few days later. I was miffed.
I hope that your dad heals well from his surgery.
Geez. I think it's a huge deal. I would have been pissed!!! :( I'm so sorry Amanda. If you need anything, email or hit me up.
Wish I could watch the boys so you could be with him.
Hugs,
Karen
Thanks for stopping by my place!
Sorry to hear about your dad. I would be mad too. I'm glad he pulled through his surgery, and I hope he recovers well.
I know about that fear - my dad had his bladder & prostate radically removed in June and started chemo this month because the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes.
It sucks.
I'm a daddy's girl too- and when I was 16 my dad went into the ICU because he was having problems breathing (he's a smoker, to boot)- and the hospital called my house and I was at work (my parents are divorced). My sister just happened to be visiting and she actually told my mom not to bother me at work because she thought I shouldn't get worked up. I was so mad when I found that out. I was so happy my mom knew better and came to get me. He ended up being okay, but it still shook me to the core.
:(
I am so sorry...I went through the same thing with my Dad about two years ago. It is frightening...just the mere THOUGHT of losing a parent you love so dearly. I understand how you feel. I am glad everything turned out ok.
wow I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am equally relieved that your Dad is ok. I was very close to my Grandfather and I was destroyed when he passed away. I still think about how much he would have enjoyed his great granddaughter and the little things he could have shared with her.
There is something about Dad's that get us daughters really protective....they are our rock ... they are always suppose to be ok!
I completely understand you being upset about not knowing your dad was having surgery. I also understand (objectively) why your family didn't want to worry you -- but I hope that next time they will respect your wishes to find out if something's going on. I had to have a conversation like that with my parents after my grandfather died -- he'd been sick and they hadn't told me -- and so when my grandmother was in ill health they knew to let me know early on.
Hugs and I hope your dad is doing well now.
Treasure the moments you have with your dad and all those close to you for that matter. This situation proves that anything can happen at any time. My dad battled brain tumors for 2 years. The family found out that it turned into terminal brain cancer just a week before I found out I was pregnant with my first child. He passed away when I was 4 months pregnant, just 9 months ago. Though you have concerns that they did not tell you sooner, at the end of the day, your dad is still with you and for that you are very fortunate. Remember what's truly important and live life such that you'll be able to look back when a loved one is gone and have no regrets. All the best to your family and here's to many healthy years ahead!
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