Apparently I'm not friend material
Have you ever been the out-casted mom? The lone mom sitting at your kid's activities and games while all the other moms are chatting together in their little cliques?
Ever been the mom left out solely based on the assumption that all the other moms think you are a teenage mother all the while you are their EXACT age and (gasp!) maybe even older? Luckily, most of you have never had to experience this but I do on a FREAKIN' daily basis. Why is that women, even the older ones, still act like their in high school? I thought we were over this but boy was I wrong!
Why is that some people must be so judgmental? It's not like I've done something to be excluded. I could understand if some of the things mentioned in this blogger's article were involved but I haven't gotten that far yet. I know that I am not perfect and I make judgments on occasion but not like this. C'mon isn't this ridiculous? Have we not gotten out of the high school mindset? Will some people never grow up?
Until someone comes along and explains this further to me, I'll chalk it all up to jealousy. I know in the end that I'm the better person.Labels: clique, mom clique, mommy cliques, mommy friends, motherhood
>Go to the Mom blog Homepage
Have you ever been the out-casted mom? The lone mom sitting at your kid's activities and games while all the other moms are chatting together in their little cliques?
Ever been the mom left out solely based on the assumption that all the other moms think you are a teenage mother all the while you are their EXACT age and (gasp!) maybe even older? Luckily, most of you have never had to experience this but I do on a FREAKIN' daily basis. Why is that women, even the older ones, still act like their in high school? I thought we were over this but boy was I wrong!
Why is that some people must be so judgmental? It's not like I've done something to be excluded. I could understand if some of the things mentioned in this blogger's article were involved but I haven't gotten that far yet. I know that I am not perfect and I make judgments on occasion but not like this. C'mon isn't this ridiculous? Have we not gotten out of the high school mindset? Will some people never grow up?
Until someone comes along and explains this further to me, I'll chalk it all up to jealousy. I know in the end that I'm the better person.
Ever been the mom left out solely based on the assumption that all the other moms think you are a teenage mother all the while you are their EXACT age and (gasp!) maybe even older? Luckily, most of you have never had to experience this but I do on a FREAKIN' daily basis. Why is that women, even the older ones, still act like their in high school? I thought we were over this but boy was I wrong!
Why is that some people must be so judgmental? It's not like I've done something to be excluded. I could understand if some of the things mentioned in this blogger's article were involved but I haven't gotten that far yet. I know that I am not perfect and I make judgments on occasion but not like this. C'mon isn't this ridiculous? Have we not gotten out of the high school mindset? Will some people never grow up?
Until someone comes along and explains this further to me, I'll chalk it all up to jealousy. I know in the end that I'm the better person.
Labels: clique, mom clique, mommy cliques, mommy friends, motherhood
>Go to the Mom blog Homepage
10 Comments:
If I am NOT with my friends then yes I am the outcast for this VERY reason I think. I look so flippin' young. Everyone thinks I am the nanny. Even the past two weeks this has happened during swim lessons. The moms JUST talked to me today because I made a huge effort. HUGE. Like days in the making here. Sigh. Whatevah. LOLb00
OMG, I know exactly how you feel. I'm 31, but most people think I'm in my early twenties. What's worse is that my husband is 7 years older than me and LOOKS it. He used to coach little league and all the other mothers would look at me strange whenever I tried to volunteer for something. When I take my daughter to her playschool, all the other parents talk to each other while I just sit there reading or looking around. At my son's school, very few moms really acknowledge me. I have to smile and try and converse with them before they speak to me. It's like I have to go out of my way to prove that I'm a nice person.
I have the same problem, but not because I look young - I'm not sure what it is, perhaps because I'm overweight? I begin every new activity with Julia as the outcast. Moms that met that very day will chat it up and be friendly while I'm getting that once over glance and passed by. I have to insinuate myself into the conversation, make a place for myself in the cirle and truly give it my all before they'll actually begin looking at me and talking to me. I'm not sure what it is. I've never had trouble making friends like I have since I became a mom. I was the kind of girl that could find a friend anywhere. I'm not sure what has changed.
It's called Pretty Girl Syndrome. LOL I've suffered it my whole life. I'm 32 now and am constantly told that I look 25. I take good care of myself and try to keep up with fashion. A lot of moms (yes, even those younger than me) tend to snub their nose at me when they first meet me because they are either jealous or think I'm a young/teenage mom. I always have to be the one to initiate conversation and really work at "fitting into" the mom group. It's ridiculous!
I too Leslie (commentup above) find the same problem.
Friends are hard to make, especially when you are new to a community. We have been here 2yrs and I still struggle to make friends other than just saying hi and chatting it up when picking my kids up from school. I'm a terrible introvert and I miss my extrovert friends back at home, ya know my safety net.
I too look young. I'm 30 and look like I'm 22 and I dress nice. I've been to a couple moms groups and I've heard rude comments like having a child out of wedlock, not being responsible, and focusing too much on myself. Those comments aren't true and I am devoted to my son. He's my number one priority but every once in a while, I take time out for me. I've also been judged because I don't drive an SUV. At times, I don't feel like I can connect with other moms because I have different interests. For example, my girlfriend, who has 4 kids, and I have a "girls night out" once a month and that includes dinner, shopping, and sometimes clubbing. Neither of us drink but we go to dance & have fun. Our husbands watch our kids.
I'm friendly with everybody and I accept people for who they are.
Hope you had a good holiday... get on IM soon. We should chat. You know, when we are both actually sitting :).
When my oldest was in grade school there were times that I felt completely left out. I looked a lot younger than the other moms and apparently they took this as a sign that I wasn't capable of handling my share of the load at fundraisers, etc.
They were not even willing to give me a chance until a lady (that looked older) that moved into town and worked with me apparently convinced them that I DID have good walking around sense!
You know what? By that time, I considered the clique to not be worth my time. That may have been wrong of me,but how dare they treat me like a leper for years and then a newcomer convinced them not to cut me out?
This time around, I look like the older mom and I'm determined not to do to anyone else what was done to me in the past!
"Why is that women, even the older ones, still act like their in high school? I thought we were over this but boy was I wrong!
".... My grandfather used to say, you should live as young as you feel. He was in his 70's and still traveling the world! Now, I can understand if these mom's were being rude or irresponsible in some sense, but what's wrong with younger mom's??? Or what's wrong with feeling young??? Just because you don't dress like some old (pardon my expression) biddy, doesn't mean you're not worth hanging out with. I always say, never judge a book by its cover. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same way. Sigh..
I really appreciate the fact that someone else out there is going through the same thing. I am 25, but look like I am 15 (the short, no boobs thing I was blessed with). I am a girlscout troop leader's helper for my sisters and some other girls, and when I was pregnant with my daughter I got all kinds of dirty looks when I helped with cookie sales. I think I need a t-shirt that says "Yes, I really AM 25." I tried to go to some of those mom-playgroups, and I always get "the Look". I was at one group that suddenly left the park; me standing all alone with my kids. Lovely of them. Sigh. Thanks for posting.
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