Buying Our Kids Too Much Stuff?
I am guilty of buying my two boys too much stuff. There, I said it. Other Moms are talking about it too. Our home is overflowing with junk. However, I haven’t always been this way. There have been plenty of times when Hot Daddy and I were new parents and we barely had enough money to buy food & diapers.
But now I buy a little something for the boys almost every time we go somewhere even if it’s just a quick trip to the grocery store. I don’t buy extravagant gifts or anything like that but I do catch myself and HOT Daddy (he’s really bad for it) buying the boys something like a book, a hot wheels car, or sometimes a movie when we go into a store. For example, a couple days ago I went to get school snacks for Future Bam and ended up buying him one of the very few Sponge bob DVD’s that he didn’t already have and his little brother got a Disney Cars toy.
Obviously I know this is a very bad habit and I don’t want the boys growing up thinking that they can have any material object any time they want it. I was not raised that way and I don’t want my boys to be raised that way but it’s hard to not give in to a tiny little toy that puts a smile on their face when we go shopping. For the most part we buy things that cost a $1 or $2 but those costs do add up and could be put to better use. I’m not sure what “better use” yet. Maybe some of you could give me some ideas on how to spend the money better if I do in fact stop spending it on junk. I know I could be paying more towards our debt but really is that $2 going to make a difference?
So, let’s hear it. I’m really interested in hearing how many of you buy your kids too much stuff? Do you buy your kids something every time you go somewhere? And if you do buy too much is it because you feel guilty? I know that is part of my reasoning. Honestly, when Hot Daddy and I have been really busy for a week or two and haven’t really gotten to spend a lot of real quality time with the boys I try to make up for it and I guess that’s where the buying stuff comes in. At least I am being honest and acknowledging this problem but in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t even matter. What do you think?Labels: mommy guilt, motherhood, shopping
I am guilty of buying my two boys too much stuff. There, I said it. Other Moms are talking about it too. Our home is overflowing with junk. However, I haven’t always been this way. There have been plenty of times when Hot Daddy and I were new parents and we barely had enough money to buy food & diapers.
But now I buy a little something for the boys almost every time we go somewhere even if it’s just a quick trip to the grocery store. I don’t buy extravagant gifts or anything like that but I do catch myself and HOT Daddy (he’s really bad for it) buying the boys something like a book, a hot wheels car, or sometimes a movie when we go into a store. For example, a couple days ago I went to get school snacks for Future Bam and ended up buying him one of the very few Sponge bob DVD’s that he didn’t already have and his little brother got a Disney Cars toy.
Obviously I know this is a very bad habit and I don’t want the boys growing up thinking that they can have any material object any time they want it. I was not raised that way and I don’t want my boys to be raised that way but it’s hard to not give in to a tiny little toy that puts a smile on their face when we go shopping. For the most part we buy things that cost a $1 or $2 but those costs do add up and could be put to better use. I’m not sure what “better use” yet. Maybe some of you could give me some ideas on how to spend the money better if I do in fact stop spending it on junk. I know I could be paying more towards our debt but really is that $2 going to make a difference?
So, let’s hear it. I’m really interested in hearing how many of you buy your kids too much stuff? Do you buy your kids something every time you go somewhere? And if you do buy too much is it because you feel guilty? I know that is part of my reasoning. Honestly, when Hot Daddy and I have been really busy for a week or two and haven’t really gotten to spend a lot of real quality time with the boys I try to make up for it and I guess that’s where the buying stuff comes in. At least I am being honest and acknowledging this problem but in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t even matter. What do you think?
But now I buy a little something for the boys almost every time we go somewhere even if it’s just a quick trip to the grocery store. I don’t buy extravagant gifts or anything like that but I do catch myself and HOT Daddy (he’s really bad for it) buying the boys something like a book, a hot wheels car, or sometimes a movie when we go into a store. For example, a couple days ago I went to get school snacks for Future Bam and ended up buying him one of the very few Sponge bob DVD’s that he didn’t already have and his little brother got a Disney Cars toy.
Obviously I know this is a very bad habit and I don’t want the boys growing up thinking that they can have any material object any time they want it. I was not raised that way and I don’t want my boys to be raised that way but it’s hard to not give in to a tiny little toy that puts a smile on their face when we go shopping. For the most part we buy things that cost a $1 or $2 but those costs do add up and could be put to better use. I’m not sure what “better use” yet. Maybe some of you could give me some ideas on how to spend the money better if I do in fact stop spending it on junk. I know I could be paying more towards our debt but really is that $2 going to make a difference?
So, let’s hear it. I’m really interested in hearing how many of you buy your kids too much stuff? Do you buy your kids something every time you go somewhere? And if you do buy too much is it because you feel guilty? I know that is part of my reasoning. Honestly, when Hot Daddy and I have been really busy for a week or two and haven’t really gotten to spend a lot of real quality time with the boys I try to make up for it and I guess that’s where the buying stuff comes in. At least I am being honest and acknowledging this problem but in the grand scheme of things it probably doesn’t even matter. What do you think?
Labels: mommy guilt, motherhood, shopping
Permalink posted by PetiteMommy at 11:05 AM
13 Comments:
I find this interesting because I did not have a lot growing up (by no means was I deprived) and I want my children to have everything that I did not. Becca is totally overwhelmed at times or forgets she has certain things. I have halted all purchases till Christmas. Both the kids have TONS of things and they really do not need any more. Yet I know they have much less than other kids (going on playdates).
I am at a loss honestly. Too much too little ... I have found lately Becca enjoys the little things like cars, animals and the like rather than bigger items. I just want to be able to provide enough to stimulate her, engage her and so she has fun, but when is enough enough?
My solution was to stop spending the $1 or $2 and save it and buy something for a bit more money - which often equals better quality this lasting longer. It quickly adds up and they would rather have a movie that just came out rather then a bunch of cheap toys that break and get thrown away.
At least once a year I go through their toys and throw things away or give them away. This spring I know I got rid of three or four garbage bags and threw away one bag of broken stuff. It's hard! I try not to buy often though and my kids now don't expect it or ask.
When the girls were little, I would buy them little things all the time, and then one day I realized that their rooms were constantly filled with junk and I was a big part of the reason. Now, I don't buy them things unless it's a special occasion or they can pay for it themselves. This limits all of the 'stuff' and they're actually pretty used to it now and don't expect things.
I'd say I give in to my daughter about a third of the time, which is still too much. I also frequently tell her that she'll have to use her own money and she's okay with that but the junk! Arrrggghhh! There's just too much of it.
Ideally, I want about 80% of it gone but whenever I try to get rid of stuff, she acts like I'm giving away her most prized possessions, which I know they're not.
I'd love to hear how other people deal with this.
Interesting point.. but remember nothing is better than spending time with your kids.. buying things for them out of guilt will just teach them to buy things for themselves (or expect others to buy things for them) when they feel bad as adults..think about it--My mom bought be everything when I was a kid now whenever I feel like something is missing-- I buy things for myself! (thank you mastercard for the big limit, you set the bar high and I reach it everytime!)
But when it comes down to it, if you want to buy something for your kids, might as well make it something that teaches them to make a difference in the world.. and have great values..good role models..check out this website to see what I mean..
Hulala Girls Gaming for A Green Planet!
I can't take my kids with me when I shop. I can't stand all the gimmes -- because I have to say No, because we have so much stuff. But they don't get that.
I buy a lot of things for Julia. I'm like Chelle - I didn't have a lot growing up. I don't want Julia to feel the way I felt so many times. (I had a cousin who had EVERYTHING and a similar next door neighbor. I was also the only kid in my grade school that wore homemade clothes. I spent way too much time feeling less than, you know?) I don't want to give Julia the impression that material things have something to do with worth, but not having them is just as much an issue as having too much. I try to make the things I get for her useful or educational toys, but I probably buy too often. The thing is, Julia isn't one to ask for toys. We go shopping and she doesn't cry for toys. So, maybe I'm succeeding in helping her build an attitude about "things." I hope. It isn't easy. When you love someone so much, you want to give them everything.
We do have too much junk. I buy things for Cordy all the time, just because I want her to have the stuff I didn't have.
Well, now that I've quit my job, there's no money for extras, so that will have to stop. And I plan to get rid of a lot of the junk we already have (especially plastic junk from China). Besides, half of Cordy's favorite toys aren't even real toys - she loves to play with the flashlight.
It is not easy. Be we can not give into our kid neither ourselves.
Effective Parenting Tips
We buy our daughter way too much. My one obsession is her clothing, she has more than she'll ever wear. Also I do tend to buy her something every time we are out, and really it doesn't bother me too much that she is spoiled. Right now she is our only child and has all of our attention, and I can't help but to buy she wants.
I often stop and look at the things I would LOVE to buy for Shannon but we are still in the 'can't afford' stages of life and so we buy her things for special occasions. Since she has never been one to ask, none of us feel out of sorts about it! I try to encourage her to use her imagination with things so we make animals out of egg boxes and she spends hours threading beads. She has a swing set in the garden which has been a house, a horse, a car, the shops, her kitchen and many other things in its time. I think that fewer 'things' help to develop better imagination... having said all that if I could afford it I am sure I would forever be buying new books and activities for her to do and even with out it we STILL have too much junk!
I was pretty raised I got what I needed and wanted, and the kids do too, but if its a big thing it has to wait till a holiday, if its small, I usually get it. My kids are good, and they desere a good life, but I dont " buy their love". If we are out at Target and they behave, they get clearence DVD, or toy,
Thanks everyone for the comments! We can't afford a whole lot either but I guess I've just gotten into the habit of buying them alot of junk that they don't play with after a few days. I have bagged a bunch of it up along with lots of clothes to take to the goodwill or to take to a place that is given away for free to those in need.
Also, we spend lots of quality time with our kids but no matter what I always feel guilty like it's never enough. I have issues. :)
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