Kindergarten: Penis Grabbing
Penis grabbing, I know, what a way to get your attention but read on it's the truth...
Kindergarten is supposed to be a time of fun and new learning experiences. But that isn't always what we get. I haven't come across a lot of posts about bullying/fighting in the blogs I read so I don't know if this is very common or others are choosing not to address these situations in such a public way. To me, talking about these real issues here is the only way I can sort through my feelings and judge whether I'm overreacting or not.
I brought this touchy subject up again because today on our way home from picking up our son from school he told us a little boy in his class grabbed him by the crotch. He proceeded to say that he tried to tell the teacher but she wasn't listening to him so he hit the kid back. I seriously don't know what to make of this.
Hearing this angers me immensely because the little boy touched him in a way that no kindergarten age child should be touched. Kids just don't go around grabbing other kid's private parts. At least they didn't when I was a kid and I've never heard of it until now. Seriously, if a little boy had done this to a little girl there would be some serious repercussions but is it the same with a boy? Maybe it's harmless boys will boys stuff to some people but it's not that way to me. I think it's downright ridiculous that another child would even think of doing this. Where is the child learning it and why is he doing it to other kids? I will find out tomorrow.
My biggest issue with this whole thing is that nothing seems to work. What I mean is that various things have happened since the beginning of the school year and nothing has been stopped. Should I just get used to the fact that someone just may hit my son everyday? Is this normal? Is everyone experiencing this or are we just in a school that really sucks?
We have repeatedly discussed this topic with our son and the teacher. I'm not the kind of parent who will shrug this kind of stuff off and act like it's no big deal. If my son says someone hit him, touched him inappropriately, aggravated him or jumped on him you can guarantee that I will be in school the next morning addressing it.
The kicker here is that our son has literally been brainwashed by the school. So basically what we tell him to do doesn't matter because he believes that what the teacher says is more important. We have told FB that what Mommy & Daddy says is always more important no matter what anyone else says. But when FB gets to school we are not there so guess whose words hold more weight? NOT OURS!!!!
In the end this may very well be something quite harmless but obviously a lesson is to be learned. Children should not be touching each other inappropriately and against their will. It's not funny, it's not a boys will be boys thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly. The only time I will think it's funny (maybe-ask me in 10 years) is when my son is about 18 and it's mutual and we hope it's a girl doing the penis grabbing. Sorry, guys!
So tell me about your kindergarten horror stories whether it be about bullies, germs, lice, bad teachers, or the moms that ignore you. I prefer knowing that I'm not alone. Well, don't we all or do we if it's bad?Labels: kindergarten
>Go to the Mom blog Homepage
Penis grabbing, I know, what a way to get your attention but read on it's the truth...
Kindergarten is supposed to be a time of fun and new learning experiences. But that isn't always what we get. I haven't come across a lot of posts about bullying/fighting in the blogs I read so I don't know if this is very common or others are choosing not to address these situations in such a public way. To me, talking about these real issues here is the only way I can sort through my feelings and judge whether I'm overreacting or not.
I brought this touchy subject up again because today on our way home from picking up our son from school he told us a little boy in his class grabbed him by the crotch. He proceeded to say that he tried to tell the teacher but she wasn't listening to him so he hit the kid back. I seriously don't know what to make of this.
Hearing this angers me immensely because the little boy touched him in a way that no kindergarten age child should be touched. Kids just don't go around grabbing other kid's private parts. At least they didn't when I was a kid and I've never heard of it until now. Seriously, if a little boy had done this to a little girl there would be some serious repercussions but is it the same with a boy? Maybe it's harmless boys will boys stuff to some people but it's not that way to me. I think it's downright ridiculous that another child would even think of doing this. Where is the child learning it and why is he doing it to other kids? I will find out tomorrow.
My biggest issue with this whole thing is that nothing seems to work. What I mean is that various things have happened since the beginning of the school year and nothing has been stopped. Should I just get used to the fact that someone just may hit my son everyday? Is this normal? Is everyone experiencing this or are we just in a school that really sucks?
We have repeatedly discussed this topic with our son and the teacher. I'm not the kind of parent who will shrug this kind of stuff off and act like it's no big deal. If my son says someone hit him, touched him inappropriately, aggravated him or jumped on him you can guarantee that I will be in school the next morning addressing it.
The kicker here is that our son has literally been brainwashed by the school. So basically what we tell him to do doesn't matter because he believes that what the teacher says is more important. We have told FB that what Mommy & Daddy says is always more important no matter what anyone else says. But when FB gets to school we are not there so guess whose words hold more weight? NOT OURS!!!!
In the end this may very well be something quite harmless but obviously a lesson is to be learned. Children should not be touching each other inappropriately and against their will. It's not funny, it's not a boys will be boys thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly. The only time I will think it's funny (maybe-ask me in 10 years) is when my son is about 18 and it's mutual and we hope it's a girl doing the penis grabbing. Sorry, guys!
So tell me about your kindergarten horror stories whether it be about bullies, germs, lice, bad teachers, or the moms that ignore you. I prefer knowing that I'm not alone. Well, don't we all or do we if it's bad?
Kindergarten is supposed to be a time of fun and new learning experiences. But that isn't always what we get. I haven't come across a lot of posts about bullying/fighting in the blogs I read so I don't know if this is very common or others are choosing not to address these situations in such a public way. To me, talking about these real issues here is the only way I can sort through my feelings and judge whether I'm overreacting or not.
I brought this touchy subject up again because today on our way home from picking up our son from school he told us a little boy in his class grabbed him by the crotch. He proceeded to say that he tried to tell the teacher but she wasn't listening to him so he hit the kid back. I seriously don't know what to make of this.
Hearing this angers me immensely because the little boy touched him in a way that no kindergarten age child should be touched. Kids just don't go around grabbing other kid's private parts. At least they didn't when I was a kid and I've never heard of it until now. Seriously, if a little boy had done this to a little girl there would be some serious repercussions but is it the same with a boy? Maybe it's harmless boys will boys stuff to some people but it's not that way to me. I think it's downright ridiculous that another child would even think of doing this. Where is the child learning it and why is he doing it to other kids? I will find out tomorrow.
My biggest issue with this whole thing is that nothing seems to work. What I mean is that various things have happened since the beginning of the school year and nothing has been stopped. Should I just get used to the fact that someone just may hit my son everyday? Is this normal? Is everyone experiencing this or are we just in a school that really sucks?
We have repeatedly discussed this topic with our son and the teacher. I'm not the kind of parent who will shrug this kind of stuff off and act like it's no big deal. If my son says someone hit him, touched him inappropriately, aggravated him or jumped on him you can guarantee that I will be in school the next morning addressing it.
The kicker here is that our son has literally been brainwashed by the school. So basically what we tell him to do doesn't matter because he believes that what the teacher says is more important. We have told FB that what Mommy & Daddy says is always more important no matter what anyone else says. But when FB gets to school we are not there so guess whose words hold more weight? NOT OURS!!!!
In the end this may very well be something quite harmless but obviously a lesson is to be learned. Children should not be touching each other inappropriately and against their will. It's not funny, it's not a boys will be boys thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly. The only time I will think it's funny (maybe-ask me in 10 years) is when my son is about 18 and it's mutual and we hope it's a girl doing the penis grabbing. Sorry, guys!
So tell me about your kindergarten horror stories whether it be about bullies, germs, lice, bad teachers, or the moms that ignore you. I prefer knowing that I'm not alone. Well, don't we all or do we if it's bad?
Labels: kindergarten
>Go to the Mom blog Homepage
12 Comments:
WOW that is a serious issue in my book. I think I probably would write a note to or go to speak with the school teacher and principal together.
What does the teacher do when you talk to her about it? What do you say to her?
Have you talked to the administrator?
Do you know the parents of the child? Have you spoken to them?
Have you also talked to your little guy about the appropriate response to this type of behavior? I understand why his reaction might be to hit, but it certainly isn't the best response to make it stop.
Sorry this is happening to your boy.
Aurelia, thanks for your support.
Alice, thanks for the comment. On the hitting part, it may not be the most"appropriate" response but in some situations it is the only thing you can do to defend yourself. We have repeatedly told our son to speak up, tell the child no, tell the teacher,etc. And if that fails then protect yourself however you can. That's reality.
I will be talking to the teacher tomorrow morning. With all previous issues I've talked to the teacher, principal and teacher's aide. I was told these problems would be resolved and for the most part things are better under control than they were in the beginning and it seems like there is more trouble when a substitute teacher comes in.
Although I have girls I have never experienced that kind of behavior, the penis grabbing that is. All I can say is go to the teacher/pricipal/giudance councelor anyone who will listen.
I think my next words to my son would be "if this happens again you need to say as loudly as you can DO NOT TOUCH ME THERE!" But that is jmo.
My thoughts on the hitting are this (JMHO):
Your son needs the help of an adult when it happens and when he hits someone, he becomes part of the problem. It also isn't going to keep the kid from grabbing him. Rather, it probably makes the kid want to do it more, unfortunately.
I know that doesn't seem fair, but for a teacher who may not see exactly what is happening, but at the last second sees your son hitting the other child, it's tough for her to assess the situation.
Do they cover the issue of private parts of the body in kindergarden? If they don't, I hope they'll add it to the curriculum to address this issue.
Alice,
Thanks again for commenting. :)
Private parts, as far as I know, is not addressed at school. But I think after today it will be.
I totally understand where you are coming from and that is what I am aiming for as well since our son is a child who does not want to hit. I don't want our son to have to fight except in situations where it's absolutely necessary for self protection. It's very sad that we even have to think of this in kindergarten.
I don't know if they cover it here in kindergarden, but it is absolutely part of the grade 1 curriculum here. It's definitely an important topic.
Yikes... I would also be very upset... I have a son in Kindergarten also right now, and thankfully we have not had any issues with bullying or inappropriate touch.. I suppose it does help that it is a private Christian school with only 11 children in his class.. but bullying really can happen anywhere. It is unfortunate and even more unfortunate that some parents just don't care.
Oh my... I'm gonna step out on a limb here and say that "penis grabbing" is definately NOT OK!! I only have girls but if there was any "vagina grabbing" going on amongst the girls I would be IRATE! Seriously!
Keep addressing this issue with whoever will listen to you at the school. In fact, raise hell about it. I would. There was a boy suspended in my youngest daughter's school for "showing himself" to other kindergarteners. I'd say this falls under the same category.
I agree with jacquie that you should also tell him to yell really really loundly "DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!"
Like you, my husband and I have real issues w/the public school systems. I homeschool my kids for the entire 05-06 school year because of bullying, dead beat teachers and rude administrators.
Oh boy! That would really upset me, too.
My son just started his therapy/preschool with the school and I've noticed that a couple little boys stood on either side of him and were poking at his head.
Wouldn't think this is as big of a deal, but my son has sensory problems and that is part of his therapy (to help him process sensory things better) and one of his hot spots right now is his head.
It upset him so bad and he couldnt tell them no because he cant say that word yet (another reason why he is in therapy...speech).
I noticed the teacher wasnt paying much attention to it because she was busy with other kids. I was about to step in when she noticed, said to stop, and it ended.
Makes me wonder what happens when I'm not right there to witness it. Part of life I guess...cant protect our kids forever.
But, grabbing privates is a totally different story and this should never happen.
I do agree with Alice that hitting isnt the answer and I would personally not tell my son it was okay to hit, but in the same right I can see why your son might have that reaction.
I hope things get worked out...I guess you could always pull him out and homeschool him after all.
I'm so glad I was homeschooled.
Amanda, this is shocking to me. I agree that this is a serious issue. And while hitting may not have been the best response, I can understand why FB did it. If someone approached me in a public place and touched one of my private parts, I can't say I wouldn't hit that person as a knee-jerk reaction.
There was a boy in my nephew's class last year (he was in 4th grade) that smacked another boy on the butt while they were using the urinals. The boy that did the touching was suspended and is was a very big deal.
You've got to be crazy upset about this. I know I would be, too. I hope you are able to find a solution.
FYI... Believe it or not, it is incredibly common; though not always mentioned by students (or the school), for kids of this age to engage in inappropriate touch.
It is something that should be consistantly reinforced as inappropriate when brought to your attention, but as many of you have guessed - there is no chance of long term damage.
This whole phenomenon is essentially harmless and part of normal development/experimentation of kids this age.
That being said... red flags should come up if A) The inappropriate touch is a form of bullying, B) It exists between an older child and a younger child, or C) It has any hint of sexual context (often a sign of abuse).
Bottom Line: Keep an eye on the situation. Chances are it will happen whether you know it or not. Usually its nothing sexual, violent, and/or perverted.
P.s. I am currently a teacher and have worked with kids (of all socioeconomic backgrounds) in camp, school, and sports settings.
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