Choosing The "No Pain" Route
In my last post here, I wrote about how, like most women, I feared the pains of labor. My attempt at humor must have not gone over very well because out of the very few comments I did receive, one of them was extremely negative, and I'd like to address that very craptastic comment from the "born-again crazy".
Even though my post was supposed to be funny (apparently I'm not good at humor) it's still a very accurate depiction of how I currently feel. During the birth of both of my boys, I openly asked for an epidural as soon as I could get one. I'm definitely not on the drug-free childbirth bandwagon. Sure, I'm happy for those women who want to do the natural thing but I'm not one of them. Instead, I chose the "no-pain" route.
With that being said, I'd really like to hear from each of my readers. Did you opt for an epidural or other drugs during the birth of your child? If so, do you feel less of a Mother for doing so? Because, honestly, feeling like we're not good Mothers because we chose to use an epidural is absurd. In fact, it's downright ridiculous! Choosing to use drugs or no drugs during the birth of your child has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of Mother you are going to be.Labels: drug free childbirth, epidural during labor, motherhood
In my last post here, I wrote about how, like most women, I feared the pains of labor. My attempt at humor must have not gone over very well because out of the very few comments I did receive, one of them was extremely negative, and I'd like to address that very craptastic comment from the "born-again crazy".
Even though my post was supposed to be funny (apparently I'm not good at humor) it's still a very accurate depiction of how I currently feel. During the birth of both of my boys, I openly asked for an epidural as soon as I could get one. I'm definitely not on the drug-free childbirth bandwagon. Sure, I'm happy for those women who want to do the natural thing but I'm not one of them. Instead, I chose the "no-pain" route.
With that being said, I'd really like to hear from each of my readers. Did you opt for an epidural or other drugs during the birth of your child? If so, do you feel less of a Mother for doing so? Because, honestly, feeling like we're not good Mothers because we chose to use an epidural is absurd. In fact, it's downright ridiculous! Choosing to use drugs or no drugs during the birth of your child has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of Mother you are going to be.
Even though my post was supposed to be funny (apparently I'm not good at humor) it's still a very accurate depiction of how I currently feel. During the birth of both of my boys, I openly asked for an epidural as soon as I could get one. I'm definitely not on the drug-free childbirth bandwagon. Sure, I'm happy for those women who want to do the natural thing but I'm not one of them. Instead, I chose the "no-pain" route.
With that being said, I'd really like to hear from each of my readers. Did you opt for an epidural or other drugs during the birth of your child? If so, do you feel less of a Mother for doing so? Because, honestly, feeling like we're not good Mothers because we chose to use an epidural is absurd. In fact, it's downright ridiculous! Choosing to use drugs or no drugs during the birth of your child has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of Mother you are going to be.
Labels: drug free childbirth, epidural during labor, motherhood
Permalink posted by PetiteMommy at 1:37 PM
21 Comments:
oh honey yes, I think I am STILL much of a woman even though I had an epidural with both of my children and will with number 3 in 9 short weeks. I also had some pain meds via the IV I THINK! My husband still thinks I'm stronger than he ever did before children.
While I did go nearly drug free with all three of my boys, I firmly believe that they type of birth you have has absolutely no bearing on what kind of mother you are going to be. Seriously, who thinks like that? No one is a failure for needing drugs or having a c-section, though natural is ideal it's not the only way!
I had a couple of puffs of laughing gas with my first. I had finally asked for an epidural at one point, but the anasthesiologist was busy with a c-section delivery of triplets and the nurse said he would be available in 20 minutes and offered the nitrous oxide. Alas, by the time he was available, I had delivered.
The fact that you carry a child for nine months and give birth (no matter what way or with how much pain medication) makes every mother the type of woman only a mother can be!
There's a reason God made us moms AND created the person who created the epidural. ;) This is coming from a mom of 3 who did NOT have an epi by the way!
Why worry about what "Anonymous" has to say. She or he can't even back her comments up with a real name.
Here's what happened with me:
- 40 hour labor with first child and then c-section...and yep, c-section is all drugged up from the chest down.
- Next child, I was too scared of the labor (not just for me, but for my first baby whose heartrate slowed down to almost nothing during the extended labor).
- I'm still to scared and will be having another c-section in August.
Sheesh, all you vaginal birth mamas should feel guilty because you squashed your baby's heads and bodies as they came out. My doctor opened up a big ole gash in my belly, so the baby could come out nice and easy.
I'm kidding, of course.
The point is, we all do what we feel is best for us. It has no reflection upon us as mothers. If only drug-free labors result in good mothers, our world is in a whole heap of trouble.
Let me first say, any commenter who is anonymous is not only a coward, but obviously has something to hide. Secondly, I ABHORED being pregnant both times (labor was no problem, yay epidural!) and might I say, I am a great mom. One couldn't have less to do with the other. And you know what? As fantastic a mom I am (and I'm sure you are), this factory is closed too.
So there.
I hate haters!!!
Absolutely no bearing at all! That is a crazy thought. I've had people tell me the labor pain is short but the years parenting them is longer and hurts more (sometimes). It's the long term marathon that matters not the child birth sprint. Sheesh.
I asked for an epidural too for all three. But for all of them, they wanted to see the world quickly. There was no time for an epidural. So yea, it was sans-epi, not totally drug free since I did have a 'cocktail' via IV but that has nothing to do with being a good mom or not.
To me, as long as you take the best possible options offered to you at that time, you're doing the best you can. The most important thing is, the baby is born without incident and healthy... isn't it?
For shame "born-again" for not owning up to who you are and why you made those rude comments. If you are a believer in the same God I serve, He is not pleased with how you represented Him with your rude comments.
Now to Petite Momma, girl it is normal to be afraid of labor. Shoot it hurts. With my first I went all natural. With my second the doctor decided to induce my labor because I wasn't dialating, so shoot yeah I had an epidural because those pains were just to much to bear. One on top of another of another.
Now if I have another I am going to do it at home with a Doula.
Epidural with all three of mine, and to 'born again anonymous commenter', I think I'm a great mother! And I think you are too, Amanda.
OMG! Bring on the epidurals I say! I wanted to enjoy my 4 labours not suffer for no good reason through them. None of my kids looks at me now and says "God you are an awful mother...it must be the drugs you had during childbirth!" Get over yourself anon. Anyone can give birth but being a mother is a completely different thing. Good wishes from the sunny land of Australia to all!
My hubby and I joke that the second I found out I was pregnant I signed up for the epidural!
I truly don't understand why some people spend their lives judging other people's choices. Why do we as women have to be on the "right" or "wrong" side of so many issues? Why can't we all just respect each other's choices?
Okay I read that comment and that was so rude- but kudos to you for leaving it up! I had two babies w/o drugs and when asked if I wanted another one my response was, and it came out of my mouth before I realized it "HELL NO" it isn't so much the labor or the pain as what follows. I love the way my family is now- we are so happy and the thought of another baby scares the sh#! out of me.
Hi, I am the mother of 8! Yes I gave birth to 8 children (I know I'm wondering what made me do that too - but they are all great people now they're grown!) The point I want to make is that I feel I had all of my children naturally--- they all came out just the way they were suppose to. Not only that but I also crossed through the era of cervical blocks to epidurals. Epi's rock compared to the 12 inch needle! I asked for light pain medication with all 8. Trust me I still felt pain - what woman who bears children doesn't feel pain? Women make the biggest fuss over the stupidest things! Who cares what you had as long as you got the baby and the mother safely home! I think your anonymous writer is one of those women who give all women a bad name. So here I am writing today to be a positive voice for all women. When it comes time to deliver that little God given package --- choose what is best for YOU and YOUR baby! That's the right thing to do!
1st DD - 1 shot of demerol and the mask for a couple of hours, she was 7lb 8oz.
2nd DD - labour hit so fast that I had no time for anything when things heated up. She was my biggest baby (9lbs 1oz) but also the easiet.
3rd DD - I had an epidural as soon as I could as my Dr had scared the crap out of me that she was going to be BIG. She wasn't she was 8lbs 6oz. But her labour was longer that the 1st 2 put together, I likely would have opted for the epidural anyways.
Maybe anonymous is a Scientologist and is "the Queen" of silent births!! Oh to be so perfect!
Oooops there is a shot of my bad humor!
I had an epidural with all 3 of my boys. My 4th son will be a c-section baby, so drugs oh-there-will-be! I always find it fascinating to hear about other birth stories. Mine were very long and very painful... but oh-so-worth-it. But with baby #4 I begged/pleaded/threatened for a c-section!! :) LOL!!
- Audrey
Personally, I think this fits in with the same women that think you are not a real mother unless you breastfeed, or a "real mother" is only a stay-at-home-mom or any one of a bushel of other hot button issues, where those on one side of the fence, sit there in judgment for those that do not do as they do.
It is plain absurd. Why is it that people who "know it all" seem to be the biggest idiots? Honestly, they aren't worth the brain cells you spent to contemplate and post this.
I actually wrote a post about this a short while back.
With Julia, I was set on giving birth to her naturally, which I wasn't able to. I spent way too much time after she was born feeling like I was a bad mom and I'd let her down because I ended up with a c-section because of that "every woman can have a natural birth if only she is strong enough" mentality of so many around me. This time around, I knew better.
Opting for an epidural doesn't make one less of a mother. But anonymously attacking a mom on her blog? That may do it.
I have given birth to my first son without any drugs. It's not so much I didn't want them. I was terrified of giving birth and the pain. And it hurt A LOT. But they wouldn't give me anything, because I was already too far.
Even though I did gave birth without an epidural, doesn't mean I think other women who did have one are bad mommies. That's plain nonsense.
Some people just have to leave bad comments. When I maintained my pregnancy blog, some people came to leave negative comments only to make themselves feel better. Try not to let them get to you. I know that's hard. But they'll have much more fun when they find out you actually care about what they say.
I enjoyed my epidural both times thank you very much. I loved just laying there and joking with my family. Not having to get up to go pee was a huge bonus too. I had no desire get up out of that bed. Lazy? Perhaps. Bad mom? Not a chance. But I respect women period. You gotta do what you gotta do, and it doesn't make you less of a mom or more of a mom whichever route you choose. You're going to get judged no matter what you do in this day and age, so you might as well do what you think is best for you. :)
I used pain relief and NOPE I don't feel like less of a woman at all. I also didnt nurse for years and NOPE I don't feel like less of a Mom.
The way each baby is born is perfect as long as they come out healthy and happy. I had 2 drug free, natural births, the first was 4 hours and the second 1 and a half hours, any longer and I would have not been able to cope with the exhaustion let alone the pain. I have huge admiration for any woman who goes through 9 months of pregnancy, and then has to deal with anything up to 72 hours of labour - take the drugs and the C-section... you deserve it!
I personally chose to avoid drugs or interventions for my birth, but I would agree that we mama's need to spend more time lifting each other up, not dragging each other down! In my opinion your birth choice is a very personal decision that takes many factors into consideration -- most of which are unrelated to parenting in general. I wrote as much in my post on Finding Your Personal Childbirth Approach. Good for you for standing up for your right as a mother and a person to make your own decision! I may not have made the same choice, but I'd guess that you put a lot of thought into yours, and you continue to put just as much thought into your parenting!
My goal as a writer is to help provide access to the information that we all need to make our own decisions based on who we are and what we believe. We all live by our own experiences coupled with what we learn from others. Admittedly, although my decision to 'go natural' was partly based on reading about infant mortality rates being lower in countries with low cesarean rates and midwife assisted births, it was also based on my own personal fear of surgery and medical interventions!
I have to add though, in response to one of your commentors, that it's not so funny either to say that moms who go natural should feel guilty for 'squishing their baby's heads'. There are some very legitimate reasons that C-sections are performed, but avoiding head squishing is not one of them! I would hate for someone to take that seriously!
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