The Bikini That Will

Either A.) Be the death of me or B.) get my butt (and, um, abs) in shape.

Last month I talked about how Victoria's Secret practically forced me into shopping for bathing suits in the dead of winter. Well, I never actually bought anything until yesterday and the bad part is that I bought it without trying it on. Of course, that's not half as bad as having to take 2 little boys into a dressing room with me and trying on a billion bathing suits in front of them and THAT horrid mirror.

Before deciding on buying that black VS bikini on the left, I actually thought about buying a tankini. Yes, a tankini. Because I'm a mom and I guess that's what moms and those over 30 should be wearing. But you know what, I've never in my life worn anything but a bikini and I think I'd feel less comfortable and slightly ridiculous in a tankini even with my messed up stomach and belly button (shown on the left Yikes!) not to mention the minimal boobs left from breastfeeding. Ah, the issues that I have...

I bought that bikini early as MOTIVATION to get myself in better shape. Last year I was quite self conscious of my odd looking post-baby midsection but aren't we all? Why do I worry so much? NO one cares anyway basically because their too busy worrying about their own flaws. I don't want to feel that way anymore whether it be because I actually get in shape or simply because I just get over it. Wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy?

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VS, Why Do You Send Me This?

I keep getting Victoria's Secret Catalogs with nothing but bathing suits in them.

Hello? How can I think about buying a bikini when it's only 9 degrees outside?

I won't be wearing a bikini until at least 3 more months so why are you shoving bikinis in my face when all I can think about is thicks socks and thermal underwear. I'm freezing just thinking about trying a bikini on. Is this your evil way of reminding me that there's only 90 days left to get back in bikini shape?

Oh why must you torture us people who live in the cold with your tropical island summery photos? You even sent me a sample of a Hawaiian perfume which is currently by my side if only to daydream with.

I'd give just about anything right now to be at the warm ocean in a bikini watching my boys make sand castles instead of sitting here on the couch huddled up under a blanket with a coat on indoors trying to decide what bikini to buy.

Your mission has been accomplished. Are you happy now?

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