The discussion has come up a few times since our son started school several weeks back. However, I never actually thought we'd follow through on it until our son asked about riding the big yellow bus a few days ago.
I want Future Bam to experience going to school on a bus like I did as a kid because it can be fun when your that age. However, getting up an hour early so that you can ride the bus less than 2 miles to school is not ideal. So we will see how that goes. And, of course, being the kind of worrier that I am I can think of all kinds of worst case scenarios about FB riding the bus. Go ahead and call me crazy.
I realize that I'm freaking out over something that some parents don't think twice about.
For those of you that allow your children to ride the bus, do you call the school to make sure they arrived safely or are we just supposed to wait it out and hope that our child is there when we go to pick them up 7 hours later? I'm not sure I can do the latter without losing my mind.
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Penis grabbing, I know, what a way to get your attention but read on it's the truth...
Kindergarten is supposed to be a time of fun and new learning experiences. But that isn't always what we get. I haven't come across a lot of posts about bullying/fighting in the blogs I read so I don't know if this is very common or others are choosing not to address these situations in such a public way. To me, talking about these real issues here is the only way I can sort through my feelings and judge whether I'm overreacting or not.
I brought this touchy subject up again because today on our way home from picking up our son from school he told us a little boy in his class grabbed him by the crotch. He proceeded to say that he tried to tell the teacher but she wasn't listening to him so he hit the kid back. I seriously don't know what to make of this.
Hearing this angers me immensely because the little boy touched him in a way that no kindergarten age child should be touched. Kids just don't go around grabbing other kid's private parts. At least they didn't when I was a kid and I've never heard of it until now. Seriously, if a little boy had done this to a little girl there would be some serious repercussions but is it the same with a boy? Maybe it's harmless boys will boys stuff to some people but it's not that way to me. I think it's downright ridiculous that another child would even think of doing this. Where is the child learning it and why is he doing it to other kids? I will find out tomorrow.
My biggest issue with this whole thing is that nothing seems to work. What I mean is that various things have happened since the beginning of the school year and nothing has been stopped. Should I just get used to the fact that someone just may hit my son everyday? Is this normal? Is everyone experiencing this or are we just in a school that really sucks?
We have repeatedly discussed this topic with our son and the teacher. I'm not the kind of parent who will shrug this kind of stuff off and act like it's no big deal. If my son says someone hit him, touched him inappropriately, aggravated him or jumped on him you can guarantee that I will be in school the next morning addressing it. The kicker here is that our son has literally been brainwashed by the school. So basically what we tell him to do doesn't matter because he believes that what the teacher says is more important. We have told FB that what Mommy & Daddy says is always more important no matter what anyone else says. But when FB gets to school we are not there so guess whose words hold more weight? NOT OURS!!!!
In the end this may very well be something quite harmless but obviously a lesson is to be learned. Children should not be touching each other inappropriately and against their will. It's not funny, it's not a boys will be boys thing and it shouldn't be taken lightly. The only time I will think it's funny (maybe-ask me in 10 years) is when my son is about 18 and it's mutual and we hope it's a girl doing the penis grabbing. Sorry, guys!
So tell me about your kindergarten horror stories whether it be about bullies, germs, lice, bad teachers, or the moms that ignore you. I prefer knowing that I'm not alone. Well, don't we all or do we if it's bad?
Apparently Future Bam wasn't tormented by enough germs and illnesses when he was younger so he's paying for it all now in kindergarten. I guess this is what happens when your child has never attended daycare or preschool. Today makes the 3rd day that FB has missed school this month due to some kind of sickness. We've went from upper respiratory infection to a rash(the verdict is out on whether it was truly poison ivy or excema but it was BAD) to a fever & swollen tonsils in a 3 week period. Maybe FB needs a bubble???
I'm off to invest in some vitamin C and echinacea before the flu season starts otherwise we really might run into some trouble.
If you have a child in kindergarten have they gotten sick yet? Is echinacea a wonder herb? Help, I don't want another sick Monday.
We are basically an anti-rules family. We don't go with the flow and generally don't do things traditionally like most people. We don't break the law. We just do our own thing. I imagine we are not the only family that is like this. Neither Hot Daddy or I currently work outside of the home so our daily schedule is quite flexible or was until our son started kindergarten a couple weeks ago. Of course once Hot Daddy finishes up his Ph.D then he will get back to working outside the home teaching at a university unless of course we hit the lottery or one of his or my several online businesses make us rich. The latter will probably not happen but wishful thinking is fun!
And, now I bring you the current battle between Hot Daddy and I. Please tell me I'm right or wrong or tell me were both crazy and to just get over it already.
The point of my post is rules and rules have been an issue between Hot Daddy and I every morning before Future Bam goes to school. Basically Hot Daddy doesn't mind if FB is late. He says children shouldn't feel rushed and shouldn't be brainwashed into thinking that they are going to get into trouble if they are late or don't feel like going to school because after all it's only kindergarten. I agree that children shouldn't feel like it's a big deal to be late every once in a while but when a child attends a public school it is our responsibility to get them there on time and to help them go by the rules of the school. Yes, I hate that I am having to listen to "the school" in regards to MY son.
Hot Daddy doesn't want our children growing up thinking that they have to always go by rules imposed on them by someone else (anyone outside of us as parents). He thinks that if we bring our boys up this way that they will feel like they have to rush to get everywhere or that it's the end of the world if they are late. Basically he wants to teach our boys to f**K authority! To do what they want and to not feel like they have to go along with the crowd.
I, too, want some of the same things for our boys but I also realize that at some point our kids have to learn that sometimes they have to do things they don't want to do. I do want them to think outside the box, to feel like they can do what they want and not what someone else tells them they have to do BUT while they are in the public school we have to come up with a solution. We can't use the school as an example if we want to keep our kids there.
I'm all for f**king authority to a point but there's only so far you can go when your kid is in school. I can hear HOT Daddy now as he reads this post, "Hey! Your making too big of a deal out of this! He's only in kindergarten!" Why, yes, I guess I am. :)
*Don't go too crazy on me. For the record, FB has not missed any school and has never actually been "counted" late. It's just one of those married couple battles of I'm right-no-I'm right. LOL.
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Now it's time to talk crushes and bullies in kinder-freakin'-garten!
There is already a child at our son's school that is causing problems with the ENTIRE class! The kid is going around jumping on, crawling on and just basically being a pest to all the other kids in the room including our son so I guess he is really not your typical bully but a pest/problem child of sorts. I told FB that if this kid bothers him again to give the kid a warning. If the warning doesn't work and the kid continues to jump or crawl on him then it's ok to push him away or even punch him away. I don't like the thought of having my child having to hit another child. This simply should not be going on BUT at the same time this may be the only thing to work. :( Yes, I'm fully aware that saying this will probably bring the trolls out!
And last night before bed FB asked me what a crush was. Then he proceeded to say that a girl in his class said she had a crush on him and he had to run from her because she tried to kiss him. OMFG! I guess I should be happy that he's quite the ladies man but little girl's need to keep their mouths away from my son. Germs! Ewww!
If you have a child in Kindergarten this year I'd love to hear what you are going through!
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Here are a few quotes as said by our new kindergarten boy.
I asked my son about the most important thing he has learned so far in Kindergarten. His response, "To sit down and zip your mouth". Nice! He's turning into a robot already.
While picking up FB from school his teacher said he had gotten into trouble that day so I asked my son what he got into trouble for. His response, "Laughing". Another Nice! We teach our kids from birth that laughter is a natural, wonderful emotion and that laughter really is the "best medicine" and when the kids go to school they are taught to suppress these emotions because it's too noisy. I wonder if this is why so many kids are depressed/anxious these days????
Maybe we should have homeschooled. I know, it's not too late but other than the "frikkin' rules" everything is going great and our son is so excited about school.
Sooo.... Future Bam's first day of kindergarten went very well. He loved it and said all he did was "play" and "have fun". Hearing this has sort of restored my faith in what kindergarten is really supposed to be. More on this as the year goes along. This morning I took FB into his classroom and when I reached down to give him a kiss he sort of snubbed me. Wow, all grown up after one day. So I guess it's OK to starting crying now, huh?
Here are some back to school kindergarten resources that I hope you will check out if you need help in getting prepared for back to school or want to know how to prepare your child for their first ever day of school-these worked for me.
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Today was our sons first day of kindergarten. Yes, I took that photo at 8am this morning. Future Bam is at school as I am writing this. As we said our goodbyes this morning in his classroom, future Bam was happy, eager, and excited. I hope this is how he comes home-happy, eager, and excited to return for another day and many years to come.
Luckily no tears were shed as we parted but as I looked at him for the last time before I closed the classroom door, I could feel myself getting emotional. It didn't help any when I looked over at Hot Daddy and I could see that he was feeling it too.
It's hard to let go of your children. I keep wondering if I have told my son all he needs to know and if I have prepared him enough to go it alone. I would be lying if I didn't say that today was heartbreaking yet also freeing for the both of us. He needs to go out in the world and learn. I need to really focus on my goals and business and by sending him along to school rather than homeschooling I'm able to do this.
It sure is quiet around here though. With only our 3 year old at home it is a whole lot different since you'd never know he was even here. He is the lone player.
I also kept telling myself that people and the world are inherently good and that I really should not worry. Am I kidding myself?
4 hours down, 3 hours to go until this BIG first is over :)
So we found out our son's Kindergarten teacher yesterday. The phone call made the impending arrival of the "First Day of School" more real. I'm a mess about it but, hey, what's new?
Supposedly, we have the worst Kindergarten teacher out of the three available in his school. Does someone hate us? Seriously. Are we permanently screwed? It seems like we always get the raw end of the deal. Anyway, I'm anxious to see how the whole "school" thing works out for us and our son. It will all go down in about 12 days. OMG!
We have to arrange an in-home meeting with our son's teacher before school starts. Until now, I've never heard of this. However, I think it will be good for our son. How many of you have done this?
Ok. It's Friday and I will attempt to NOT work on anything this weekend. Does checking email count? Or reading about blogher 07? I could have totally gone but never planned for it plus I'd rather save up a bit more money for a Canon or Nikon DSLR. The hubs and I are going to a conference for his PHD program in Washington DC in December so we're sort of saving for that too! Well, maybe I'll go to Blogher next year. How about you? Who else is not AT blogher right now?
So our son starts Kindergarten in 3 1/2 weeks. Yep, you heard me 3 WEEKS! I am freaking out over here. Instead of homeschooling we are going to *try* out public school. If things don't work out the way we expect them to then homeschooling here we come!
These are a few things that have pushed me to my limits this week ( my Kindergarten anxiety included)...
Judgmental people ( I know you've heard enough already)
Dumb (very dumb) teenagers posing as helpful young adults who just don't know how to handle kids.(I don't want 19 year old kids being my son's role model )
People asking us why our son is going into Kindergarten at the age of 6 instead age of 5, and why we don't just send him on to 1st grade (Because we are his parents! THATS WHY!)
Feeling like people are judging our parenting based on our son's introverted personality. WTH? (Maybe this is all perceived but whatever)
Not having a support system locally. This sucks. Enough said.
Needing a break and not getting one.
Work BURNOUT.
So have you had any near meltdowns lately? Any Moms who have kids starting school this year?
Our oldest son is smart, athletic, and loving but he is also a shy child. I hate to label him like that but there's really no way around it. He could probably be more accurately labeled as a highly sensitive child. There is a test online at The Highly Sensitive Person where you can get a general idea whether your child is a highly sensitive child or not as well as determine if you have those characteristics. My son scored enough to be considered an HSP and I scored almost enough to be considered an HSP.
Our son interacts wonderfully in small groups or with family. For example, if there is one child on the playground he has no problem interacting with them. However, if you place him in a big group of 10 or more kids he doesn't do well. When he is put into a new situation or in a large group of kids, he becomes withdrawn and fails to interact. It's like he's overstimulated.
I never imagined having such as shy child because my husband is extremely outgoing and even though I was shy as a child, I'm no longer shy as an adult. Our nearly 3 year old is also very outgoing and makes friends very easily. Sometimes our soon to be 3 year old can even be a little obnoxious.
It's hard as a parent to sit and watch your child exhibit shyness and not really understand why they feel and act that way other than being given the explanation that it's mostly genetic. He also lacks some social skills because at 6 years old he has never been in daycare, preschool, or any other structured daily activities other than sports. I have been fortunate enough that both of our kids have not had to ever go to daycare or preschool since I work from home. But looking back maybe our son needed preschool to prepare or to at least get some structure. I know as he enters Kindergarten this August it will probably take him a while to adjust since he will be one of a few children who has never been in this kind of environment. I know he will get through it. Everyone does. But it's something as a parent that I worry a lot about. I just want him to be normal, have fun, do what he wants to do, and overall not be restricted by his shyness.
If you are an HSP/shy person or have a shy or highly sensitive child, what is working for you and your child? What books have you read and what do you recommend?
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I still have to share this... (or these few things)...
We are NOT moving. We're gonna stick around here and rent for a while longer. No rushing into moving into a permanent house for now. I finally feel better and the stress is gone.
Our little man is starting baseball this week for the first time. I hope he enjoys it. He's never done it before. So far soccer has been his thing.
We register our son for kindergarten tomorrow. Wish us luck or maybe just wish me luck because I'm probably the one who will freak out. Oh My!
I've got some cool new reviews to share with you this week. A t-shirt, a new PBS series, and some books. Sounds great, right? I'll be adding them to amomsreview.com
Oh and this new man..or, um, I mean, song I just found and adore...really, I mean the SONG... kind of a Justin Timberlake voice don't ya think?
