Lately all I have been thinking about is how everything I do and say or don’t do or don’t say will have some type of effect on my children that will last forever. One thing I do know for sure is that my parenting will make them who they are and will leave a lasting impression on them forever. My parenting during these years will determine so much of their permanent personalities.

If I am guilty of anything right now, it’s loving my children too much and spending too much time with them. Some people may think this is unhealthy for both me and my children and some may think it’s normal just like I do. I want to love and hold my boys as much as I can when they are young because I know as they get older they won’t want this from me. So, what’s so wrong with giving them all of my love and time now? Isn’t that what I am supposed to do? I know when I was a child, time was all I wanted from my parents.

When I first became a mom, I didn’t realize how hard being a mom was going to be. When your child is under three, it is so much easier and all you have to do is play with them, feed them, and entertain them. As they get older, you have to do and be so much more. After my oldest turned five this year, I finally realized that it isn’t all fun and games anymore. I have to teach him, guide him, and help him make the right decisions. What I do will have an impact on him. It’s my responsibility to help him turn into a well rounded, smart, understanding, open-minded, and most of all, loving child, teenager, and adult.

I cherish everyday, live in the here and now, and not take anything for granted. I try and live each day to the fullest because I honestly don’t know what tomorow will bring. I havent always been this way but I sure am glad that I am now. Having this frame of mind allows me to be stress-free and happy-go-lucky almost every day of my life. I want my kids to have few rules, less structure, more fun, free expression, and not be stuck with what society calls “normal”. I don’t want them to be concerned with all the little issues and problems around them. I want them to see the bigger picture and cherish all that life has to offer. I want them to continue to be excited about life and learning for the rest of their lives as they are now.

After reading back through this post, I realize I have been rambling and it may not make a whole lot of sense to you but it makes perfect sense to me.

I guess most of all is that when my boys look back, I hope they will be able to say that I gave them all the time, love, and understanding they needed, I gave them choices, I allowed them to make mistakes, I didn’t make them conform, and I showed them the way to having & finding meaning in their lives.