It’s not something that is explained in books or by other seasoned moms. When life is growing inside of you, the “what to expect” series is more often than not by your nightstand and when the baby is born, the “what to expect the first year” is next in line. No where in those books is mommy guilt explained. It’s also not one of those things that other mothers often talk about even though it is in the back of all our minds and it consumes us.

No one tells us it’s ok to feel guilty and no one tells us that we really shouldn’t feel guilty over taking time for ourselves. We find out on our own that we are most likely going to feel guilty over everything we do or don’t do if we don’t think we are doing it right.

Many moms are in constant fear that what they are doing could harm their children in the long run. I am one of those moms who constantly worries what if I said the wrong thing to my children, what if we didn’t spend enough time outside today, or what if I didn’t involve them in enough activities and on and on…

So in the hopes that I will help myself feel better and lift some mommy guilt, I am here to tell you that it’s ok to take time for yourself and not feel guilty about it. We will all be better mothers because of it.

It’s ok to take an hour for yourself and just lie around and watch TV.
It’s ok to have a night out alone with your husband without the kids.
It’s ok to have a night out alone without the husband or the kids (um, seriously). LOL.
It’s ok to splurge on yourself every now and then.
It’s ok if you don’t feel like reading the book for the tenth time or don’t feel like playing the game this time around.
And, the list could go on and on…

I feel like if I am feeling particularly guilty then I am giving more of myself than ever to my kids by overextending myself and by lavishing them with unnecessary gifts. This could possibly do more harm than good to my kids because it isn’t realistic. I feel like I need to do this to get rid of the guilt. If I just take time for me in the first place then this won’t be an issue and everything would be more in balance.

Either way, we all know it is easier said than done but I’m trying to be ok with being me.

Most of all I want my kids to grow up and not need a therapist. Who doesn’t? Even though it sounds weird saying that, it is a valid fear. I want my kids to feel like they can come to me for anything and I want them to really know that I love them with everything inside of me and I would do anything for them.