I keep getting Victoria’s Secret Catalogs with nothing but bathing suits in them.

Hello? How can I think about buying a bikini when it’s only 9 degrees outside?

I won’t be wearing a bikini until at least 3 more months so why are you shoving bikinis in my face when all I can think about is thicks socks and thermal underwear. I’m freezing just thinking about trying a bikini on. Is this your evil way of reminding me that there’s only 90 days left to get back in bikini shape?

Oh why must you torture us people who live in the cold with your tropical island summery photos? You even sent me a sample of a Hawaiian perfume which is currently by my side if only to daydream with.

I’d give just about anything right now to be at the warm ocean in a bikini watching my boys make sand castles instead of sitting here on the couch huddled up under a blanket with a coat on indoors trying to decide what bikini to buy.

Your mission has been accomplished. Are you happy now?