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When my oldest daughter started school, I believed what “everyone” said. Every student could be a straight “A” student if they only worked hard enough.
My daughter started kindergarten at a “Blue Ribbon School of Excellence” that was a reading magnet school. This meant that reading was emphasized in every subject. This is not a bad thing. Without the ability to read, it is nearly impossible to learn any other subject.
My daughter was so excited when she started kindergarten. Her main goal was to learn to read all by herself. She could not wait. When my daughter finished kindergarten, she was “just a little” behind. The teacher’s response was “She’ll catch up, no problem”. First grade arrived and her “little bit behind” translated into way behind. She was placed into special assistance classes, missing her “down” time to attend. This means recess, centers, sometimes extra classes like P.E., music, art, etc., sometimes even part of her lunch period.
Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know any 6 year olds that can take a full 8 hour day without down time, especially when they come home with homework in their regular subjects, plus homework in their “special” classes.
In addition, it curtailed any opportunity she might have to actually be successful at something, because the only thing she was allowed to do was what she wasn’t good at. The other kicker, for her, was a teacher who emphasized timeliness. Now, timeliness is an important concept for a child to learn, but, to my daughter, who was always behind, timeliness equated with praise and positive reinforcement. This was something that she could succeed at. So, in order to be a success at this, at least, she would do what it took to finish first. Rush through, not check her work, sometimes not even reading the directions before completing the work. This, in turn, made her grades go down even farther. By the time she started second grade, she hated school. This was a child who started kindergarten in love with school. My beautiful, super intelligent, wonderful, little girl felt stupid, and like a failure, at the age of 7.
In the middle of 2nd grade we moved from Louisiana to Iowa. Now, moving in the middle school of the school year is traumatic for any child, but for a child already struggling, it was a death sentence. Her new 2nd grade teacher’s attitude was, “Oh she’ll catch up”, (sound familiar?) even though the requirements were completely different and we’d been there before. Her 3rd grade teacher decided she was just lazy and treated her accordingly. She was constantly complaining that Tiffany would “zone out” during class. When we would have parent-teacher conferences, she would tell me things about my daughter that I had told her at prior meetings, like it was new information.
By the end of the year, this teacher chose to label her as “learning disabled”. My daughter struggled through 4th grade in a special program, that singled her out and embarrassed her greatly, but her 5th grade teacher threw the “program” out the window, seeing the truth about my child. She was not learning disabled, she was just behind. With a little extra attention, my daughter was no longer the child holding the whole class back.
We moved again, from Iowa to West Virginia, between her 5th and 6th grade years. Currently, my precious daughter is an honor roll student, a freshman in high school, with no special assistance whatsoever. Those years of pain, false labeling, and struggle, may be behind her, however, they are still with her. Her confidence, while somewhat restored, is easily shaken.
Now, I come from a family of teachers. My grandmother started her teaching career in a one-room schoolhouse, teaching for over 40 years. My sister specializes in early childhood education, having spent time teaching both kindergarten and pre-school. She has a Master’s degree to her credit. I also am married to a college professor. My own teaching experience is limited to Sunday school, Children’s Church, and Bible Studies, as well as home schooling all of my children through their pre-school year, but I am teaching children in every class, and I do have an understanding of what goes on in the classroom. Even with all my experiences, I fell victim to the “teacher mentality”.
I understand that there are a lot of outside influences that affected my daughter, along with those that she experienced at school, but she needn’t have suffered like she did. You child should not have to either. Please check out this web-site for more information on how to keep your child from going through a similar experience. For the sake of your beautiful, super intelligent, wonderful child.
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